The virtue associated with self-control, or self-discipline, is called temperance. In philosophical terms, it is the virtue of moderation, self-restraint, the habit of avoiding excess in one’s conduct, appetites, and passions. In Christian theology, temperance is one of the four cardinal virtues along with prudence, justice, and fortitude. Temperance helps us gain greater interior peace in all things and situations in this often difficult world. It is understood to be a vital characteristic of wisdom, of moral and spiritual maturity, and as a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
As a virtue, it relates directly to one’s inner experience of conscience relative to one’s choices in how one responds in word or deed to the often very difficult moral challenges we all experience in life. Another word for virtue is ‘habit’. Virtue is not something we are born with. It is the product of experience, reflection, prayer, and practice, practice, practice, until it becomes something we no longer have to think about but has become a part of our character. The virtue of temperance is marked by the well-developed skill, or habit, of recognizing temptations to sin for what they are, and the practice of consistently choosing to avoid temptations, not out of fear of punishment but out of real love and respect for what is true and good. In that sense, it is the gift that enables us to make freer and better choices in those difficult situations.
In Galatians 5: 19-21, we see a long list of sins that, if guided by the Spirit, you will recognize and avoid. Paul writes: “In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, [and] self-control” (vs. 22-23). And with that he goes on to encourage the Galatians, and us, saying: “Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit. Let us not be conceited, provoking one another, envious of one another” (vs 24-26). Do you see why it can be said, then, that self-control is a sign of maturity? Paul uses a harsh phrase to describe this self-discipline, “…those who belong to Christ Jesus have ‘crucified their flesh’”. As a result, they are no longer slaves to their passions and desires; they have ‘died to them’. Clearly, it is not easy to develop this virtue of self-control, temperance, without the aid of the Holy Spirit.
Paul knows this too and gives us an example of how hard it is to develop it and how important it is. He also knows that while the Holy Spirit is generous in his gifts, we need to cooperate with the Spirit, be open to his graces, and then choose to practice them and use them properly. “Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable one. Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified” (1 Cor. 9: 24-27). That’s what must be done to gain the virtue of self-control, too. We can trust that the Spirit remains ready to give us the graces we need to become spiritual athletes. Are we doing what we need to do to receive them? Are we willing to do the hard work of practicing, and practicing, and practicing some more, until self-control becomes our regular, consistent habit?
We all live in the world. If we are reflective both outwardly and within, does it not seem self-evident that the world (and sometimes ourselves) is “marked”, or characterized, rather, by the vices of conceit and provocation, undisciplined passions and desires? It seems that the virtue of temperance, self-control, is in very short supply. Can you see, then, why the world needs to see ‘spiritually mature’ Christians actually living in the Spirit, conducting themselves in and through the virtue of temperance in their daily lives through their conduct at home and in their public lives as co-workers, neighbors, and as citizens?
We can take comfort, though, for God is always there to support us in our daily struggles to practice and to gain the virtues through the help of His Spirit. Paul writes to Timothy to strengthen him in his resolve to live and teach the Gospel, saying: “For this reason, I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord, nor of me, a prisoner for his sake; but bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God” (2 Tim.1: 6-8). Let us practice temperance in all of our relationships and duties, domestic and civic, by being more and more: “…quick to hear; slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God” (James 1: 19-20).
Let Jesus have the last word here. “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few” (Mt. 7: 13-14). That narrow gate, and the road leading to it, is found in the virtue of self-control. The virtuous road is indeed narrow and very difficult. The road to perdition is indeed very wide and often made to look oh so attractive and ‘appears’ so easy, and those who take it “are many”. To be a Christian is to take the road less traveled by. That is what will make all the difference, both here and now, and in the kingdom of God.
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