I am usually the type to deflect painful situations with humor, but God reminded me the other day that there is another, healthier way of dealing with trials: walking through them, with His strength, and the support of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
This is one of the hardest, yet most necessary posts I’ve ever had to write. You see, about a month ago, I found out that my mom has a brain tumor. I haven’t really shared that with too many people, I suppose for a few reasons. First, because there is no good way to just drop that bomb in a casual conversation. “Hey, how was your weekend, Jess?” “Oh, it was fine, went grocery shopping, cleaned the apartment, spent two hours crying with my mom over the phone and coming to terms with my own mortality after finding out she has a brain tumor. You know, the usual.” The second reason I haven’t said much about it is because people always feel the need to cheer you up after hearing bad news, and truth be told, there just isn’t anything to say.
I am usually the type to deflect painful situations with humor, or at the very least bottle it deep down inside somewhere to be dug up and dealt with after years of therapy. But this deserves some space, and God reminded me the other day that there is another, healthier way of dealing with trials: walking through them, with His strength, and the support of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I figured that I’d share with you some of the things I’ve been learning through the struggle, and maybe, just maybe, we can walk through this valley together.
1. I am immensely weak, and the Gospel is immeasurably strong.
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from the wrath of God. Romans 5:8-9
It was never more apparent how much I still cling to the flesh and the worldly comforts than in the moments and hours after my mom first broke the news. The thoughts that surfaced, the right I felt I had to a healthy mom, the anger at why God called my husband and I to move 1800 miles away from home just a few months earlier, the feelings of guilt and responsibility to somehow take care of her, the overwhelming anxiety that still comes in waves… I had this view of who I was and how I was doing spiritually, that was utterly shattered. In stark contrast to my failures and insecurities, stands the truth of God’s salvation through Jesus Christ. I am covered by His blood, I am a new creation, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.SKM: below-content placeholder