We are living in very judgmental times. Being judgmental is certainly not new, but it seems to have reached a fever pitch in our present moment in history. In this age of the internet, social media, and AI, judgmentalism has become a dominant form of verbal and visual expression, even abuse, in our modern culture. Indeed, it is used for that purpose at every level of society, from teenagers messaging about other students at school to the highest levels of our national political debate. Is it any wonder, then, why anger and moral outrage seem to be the dominant emotions of our times?
It is easy to judge others from a distance on social media. The internet shields us with anonymity and removes us from responsibility. It enables gossip, ridicule, calumny, and worse, lies about the other, to be promoted as “reality”. What does Jesus teach us about this? In Luke’s account of the Sermon on The Mount, he says: “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Lk. 6: 31). “Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven” (v. 37). “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own” (v. 41)? And from John’s Gospel: “Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone” (Jn 8:7).
Jesus never loved from afar. He looked people in the eye; he listened to their stories; he saw their pains with his eyes and touched their woundedness with his hands; and by doing so, he healed their bodies and their souls. He walked with them and ate with them. In other words, he formed relationships. Like Jesus, then, we too are called to meet one another where we are. When we are in a relationship with the other, when they go wrong, we can respectfully challenge them, but we cannot judge them. To judge the personhood, or the condition of another’s soul, without knowing them, is sin. And that judgment will be held against us. Jesus never rushes to conclusions. Unsupported conclusions or opinions tend to end conversations. Compassion, empathy, and curiosity make conversations possible.
Judgmentalism is quick and easy, and it can even be very self-satisfying to our immediate feelings. When we judge another wrongly, out of anger, or fear, or pride, we are in danger of unjustly harming the distant, unknown other with the noise of mere “opinions”. There is only the pretense or the illusion of power or superiority in this. Is there anything in Jesus’ words or deeds that promotes the seeking of earthly power or superiority? Quite the opposite. He lives and models forgiveness, mercy, self-sacrifice, and humble service to others. Indeed, the purpose of his coming into this broken world was to reconcile our separation from the Father. These are the central themes, the hallmarks of the Gospel, the Good News. He models the divine love that enables healing relationships and brings ultimate meaning and purpose to this life, and to the life to come. And he calls us to love in the same way.
Relationships take time, patience, commitment, and a willing practice of listening to and being truly present to the other’s suffering and joy. When we judge one another from a distance, we, more often than not, fail in both honesty and integrity. We fail in honesty because our judgment is founded on ignorance of the other, or on unsupported opinion, instead of known truth. We fail in integrity, precisely because we ourselves are flawed, maybe even more than those we condemn and judge. “Physician, heal yourself” (Lk. 4:23). It was that kind of judgment and condemnation that put Jesus on the cross. Curiosity and patience allow relationships to form. Judgment and condemnation destroy even the possibility of forming relationships.
God created us all in his own image and likeness. This is divine theology and anthropology. It has nothing to do with skin color, place of birth, the language we speak, or the physical beauty of our human bodies. It has everything to do with our souls and our eternal relationship with the Creator and with each other. We all have the same Father. God desires to be in a relationship with each one of us. How do we give thanks for this great gift? By choosing daily to do our best to love God with our whole being, and our neighbors as ourselves. The best way to break the habit of judgmentalism is to get to know Jesus more personally. We do this by going to the Scriptures, by observing his ways, his truth, and his life.
In truth and reality, we have neither the competence nor the capacity to judge the heart or the condition of another’s soul. That judgment belongs to Jesus alone (see Matthew 25:31-46). We must learn and practice forgiveness and mercy toward all others, and turn away from our habits of judging and condemning others by the often dim light of our own flawed human opinions. Is this not how we so deeply desire to be treated by others? The more we know Jesus, the less judgmental and the more merciful we can become toward others.
Lord, free us from the illusions of pleasure and power that cause us to judge and to condemn others without knowing them and their own struggles. Grant us the grace of patience that we might hesitate in our judgments of others, and the courage to practice more often the holy arts of understanding, forgiveness, and mercy. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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