There is a great difference between the virtue of Humility and the experience of being humbled. To be humbled is to be made to feel less proud, often by an experience that reminds you of your own limitations, mistakes, or lack of importance compared to others. Humility, on the other hand, is a disposition characterized by a modest and accurate self-assessment, an acknowledgment of one’s limitations and, in the Christian sense, of one’s dependence on God for all that is good. The virtue of humility is not tempted by earthly desires of self-importance or a false sense of greatness at the expense or the diminution of others. Humility is spiritual common sense, enabling us to act towards things and others as they truly are, and as we truly are. It is not defeatism or a false sense of worthlessness, but a recognition of our true worth in relation to Christ.
Jesus, in telling this parable, makes clear the difference between the experience of being humbled and the great virtue of humility. We must remember that this event takes place at the house of a ‘leading Pharisee.’ Everyone there was watching Jesus very closely. Some, like the Pharisees, watched to see if they could catch him in something that they might use to get rid of him once and for all. Others might have been watching to see how Jesus would handle this august, well-heeled, and powerful group of community leaders. Being the Good Teacher that he is, he knows how to get a point across with simple clarity. He tells a story about an important, fancy wedding banquet. In his story, he reveals recognizable behaviors, indeed, behaviors that we have probably seen at play at similar events in our own experience, either in private or on a much broader, public stage.
“When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not recline at table in the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by him, and the host who invited both of you may approach you and say, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then you would proceed with embarrassment to take the lowest place. Rather, when you are invited, go and take the lowest place so that when the host comes to you, he may say, ‘My friend, move up to a higher position. Then you will enjoy the esteem of your companions at the table.” Then, he reveals the moral of the story, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk. 14: 7-11).
This may seem at first to be a simple argument for proper social ‘manners’. In a very real sense, it is about manners, but manners of a much deeper kind. A Christian sense and practice of manners cannot be separated from Christian morals, since Christianity itself is engaged within the midst of ordinary human life. Simple social manners might be superficial, and in some ways, done to draw attention to the self. But a Christian sense of manners rooted in Christian morals are habits that have become deeply rooted in the person’s everyday life. Such manners are a character trait of the virtue of humility and, in that sense, they are a stark contrast to pride, self-importance, and arrogance. They reveal the difference between self-glorification and a selfless readiness to love and to serve others.
In this sense, then, the parable is as much a revelation of the history of the world as well as of our present times, as it was to the Pharisee and the others in that room when Jesus told this story. The parable reveals the tendency that we have so often seen toward ruthless struggles for power that take place in every level of our lives, with little to no thought given to the unjust and cruel suffering of the innocent, which only exacerbate such struggles. Jesus, who is always the model that Christians are to look to, does not participate in this struggle. He is the humble one, “who, though in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking on the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2: 6-8).
But Jesus also says to the Pharisee who invited him. “When you hold a lunch or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or your wealthy neighbors, in case they may invite you back and you have to repay them. Rather, when you hold a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you” (vs. 12-14). Why would Jesus direct this comment directly to the leading Pharisee? Because of his love for him. Because he desired the man’s salvation, if only he would listen to and accept the wisdom he had heard. He is saying this to us, too, for the same reason.
This parable is as real and as needed for us to hear today as it was in Jesus’ day. In our own times, in our own culture, even in our own lives, do we not see this kind of behavior being lived out all too commonly today? Pride, the undisguised desire, even the need to be number one, the drive for wealth, fame, and power, are the landscape of daily environments. But the words of the Lord take us deeper into the heart of how a truly Christian life should be lived. This story begins with ordinary manners, but we are shown that manners reduced to mere show are empty and dishonest. Our faith calls us to humility. Jesus calls on us to humbly recognize our common brotherhood, our unity with the most broken and forgotten, the poorest and weakest, the lowest and last among us. This is the highest form of the Christian life. For, as Jesus tells us, “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled and everyone who humbles himself will be exalted.” Both those who exalt themselves now, and those who humble themselves, recognizing their unity with the least of God’s children in the here and now, will be “repaid.” Which of these two ways do we truly want to choose?
Let us pray: When we have acted with pride, may we seek repentance. When we are tempted to misuse our power, let us act for the good of others. When we cannot see the good in ourselves, show us our own lovableness: Hear us, O Lord. Amen.
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