Pregnancy is traditionally all about the mom’s needs. When a couple experiences the tragedy of a miscarriage, the grief of the mother is typically given stronger focus than the father’s grief with the expectation that the father’s role is to be the strong, silent emotional support. This social expectation affects the couple deeply. Instead of having a healthy outlet for expressing their own feelings about the loss, men are often forced to repress them.

This video gives a much-needed look at a father’s perspective on losing a child and coping in the aftermath. He says that he was forced to reexamine his own gender stereotypes as he wanted to have a boy instead of having to deal with a princess-obsessed girl. (He’s not alone in that belief; these expectations about having a “manly” son and a “prissy” daughter are, unfortunately, ingrained in our culture and start early.) Watch and see how his perspective changed.

If you are struggling with a loss of your own, here is a collection of inspiring Scriptural passages to uplift you.