How to Grow Daughters In Grace

The situation our daughters will find themselves in more times than not is a war for their identity and image.

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This week I found some wise advice on raising daughters of grace from Pastor Dave Bruskas. These words from Bruskas hit home because as one who has two daughters but who also pastors and teaches at a college, I am very aware there is a war on the souls of our children. The situation our daughters will find themselves in more times than not is a war for their identity and image.

In this regard, there are only two options. Either they will be conformed to the pattern of this world or they will be transformed by the renewing of their minds.

Parents, we play vital roles in this (especially in those 18 years we have them at home) and our constructive words can be the needed conduit of grace to them for this battle.

Here is the progression that Pastor Bruskas works through each day with each of his daughters:

1. I affirm both the godly character and good works I see in her life. These two truly make a woman beautiful to those around her with opinions that matter (I Timothy 2:10).

2. I compliment her appearance as she models modesty and self-control for all to see (I Timothy 2:9) and how her wardrobe, jewelry, hair, and make-up complement and highlight her countenance.

3. I remind her that she is righteous in Christ. Nothing is more beautiful to the Father than the righteousness of his Son, and he sees my daughter through the lens of Jesus’ righteousness rather than her ugly disobedience. This means she is beautiful to the Father.

Of course, I might add here: until our daughters are regenerated (born again), nothing they do can produce godly character. Godly character is produced through us as Christ is formed in us (Gal 4:19). This journey begins with the new birth and our repentance and faith (conversion). Until our daughters are made new and declared righteous in God’s sight through Christ, that is GOAL 1 for parents.

After that, its mop up duty as we help nurture the grace that our daughters now have in Christ. And our goal: women who adorn the doctrine of God our Savior (Titus 2:10).

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