Failure to Forgive

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. – Mark 11:25

Not forgiving is an issue of pride and God is known to resist the proud but to give grace to the humble. You cannot be humble and unforgiving at the same time. It is like trying to be angry while giving thanks. Not forgiving others is like drinking poison hoping the other person gets sick from it. It is such a failure to forgive others because we fail to see just how much we have been forgiven.

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The damage that years of resentment can do is well documented by health professionals. Risk factors include anxiety, depression, grief, drug abuse, stress, eating disorders, and cardiovascular diseases. Generally, an unforgiving person is miserable and they live with an extremely short fuse. This can lead to isolation and severe loneliness due to the withdrawal from family and friends. Holding a grudge lowers the body’s resistance and allows more damage from viruses, infections, toxins and also increases the likelihood of accidents. It negatively impacts the immune system. Like a poison, resentment and a burning desire for revenge actually increase the risk of cancer. Bodily functions operate less efficiently, oxygen is deprived, for other’s it’s grinding their teeth at night, having temperamental experiences with family, friends and in public.

On the other hand, forgiveness promotes good mental and physical health, and is a necessary component in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. This might explain why there are actually steps and procedures from the Mayo Clinic on forgiveness because they understand the relationship to attitude and health.

When my children were young, I told them that life is not always fair. You have to learn to accept people for the way they are. No one is perfect. Forgiving, although not easy, is a choice. Extending forgiveness is doable. Many people don’t want to go to church because they say it’s full of hypocrites but the fact is there are no perfect churches because there are no perfect people.

When we harbor grudges, we set mines in our own harbors where people fear to come. When we realize that God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and the fact that east and west never meet, we see just how God is by nature (Psalm 103:12). If He kept records of our sins, none of us would ever be able to stand in His presence (Ezra 9:15). He castes our sins into the oceans of forgetfulness. Our sins experience a permanent death. They are forgotten and never seen again. He remembers our sins no more (Isaiah 43:25). He doesn’t count them against us (2 Cor 5:19) and chooses to forget them (Heb 8:12). So forgiveness is a choice, it is not a feeling. I love what Henry Ward Beecher said, “Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man “

While Jesus hung on the cross in sheer agony that none of us could ever imagine it had to be absolutely gut wrenching to His mother, Mary. As she watched not just her Savior, but her own son being tortured and ridiculed and at the very pinnacle of Jesus‘ suffering on the cross, He called out to the Father saying, “Father, forgive them for they don‘t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If there was ever a moment in history where someone deserved a “free-pass” on forgiveness, it was at the cross. Yet, Christ understood the true meaning of forgiveness. He was the perfect example for all. May we all strive to forgive everyone as Christ continually forgives us. Praise be to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior!

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph 4:31-32 (NIV)